11.2.05

KKNB chau peng hu*

So it turns out that it is possible to squeeze two mahjong tables into an average-sized HDB room, and to have two concurrent mahjong games running. While Terz coached the beginners' table, I pondered mediocre hands and tried to salvage at least three tai out of each win (we were playing, as usual, minimum two, maximum five). More than once, we took turns asking ourselves, "What the hell are we doing?", then twisted around to consult for the beginners' table. Their most common query: "Can I win with this?" We were often wondering that about our own hands.

Final score at our non-beginners' table: Two maximum wins; while G managed to break even, BoKo did well off Kay and me.

Rematch: Good Friday, possibly at G's place. Someone please remember to bring a tape recorder, like we always say we're going to, because our mahjong table conversations are so goddamn weird.

For the record, KKNB chau peng hu was uttered maybe only three times all night, albeit with great zest. Yes, we have the collective maturity of a five-year-old.

* KKNB = kan ni na bei, which means either "fuck you" or "fucking", depending on the context, and like its English counterpart, can be used to punctuate just about any phrase. It's usually followed by chau chee bai, which then brings the entire phrase up to par with "motherfucker". Chau peng hu is a mahjong hand whose value is halved if the player draws a flower tile, rendering a "pure" peng hu hand, er, chau (smelly?). (Definition adapted from the Coxford Singlish Dictionary)

13 Comments:

At 2/11/2005 8:32 pm , Blogger Mr Miyagi said...

Lesseee... at the risk of being labelled a total Beng, here's the correct definition of KNNCCB:

KAN = F**k
NI NA = Your
BU = Mother
CCB = Smelly c**t

There is no 'Beh'. It's supposed to be KanNiNaBu Eh ChowCheeBye, and the 'eh' got compressed. (The 'eh' operates like a possessive.)

(Don't rely on the CED too much. It's written by a bunch of ACS boys with no Hokkien gangster connections, so its accuracy is questionable. I, on the other hand, was an ACS Beng).

 
At 2/11/2005 10:56 pm , Blogger mb said...

I was going to jump in here to correct Tym's vulgarity vocab, but I suppose the ACS Beng beat me to it. I also ACS but only partial Beng.

 
At 2/12/2005 2:46 am , Blogger Terz said...

Uh, you know... I didn't really say the KKNB part... just the 'chau peng hu'... with the correct intonation. Naturally.

 
At 2/12/2005 2:04 pm , Blogger Agagooga said...

ACS! You don't say. (I should've guessed)

What does the "Eh" in KNNBCCB mean ah.

 
At 2/12/2005 2:32 pm , Blogger Ed, Edd & Eddy !!! said...

Ahem, tet the neighbourhood heartlander beng correct you all.

The eh is like the 's.

Your mother smelly c**t doesn't sound too grammatically correct does it.

Oh the other hand, your mother's smelly c**t is correct.

 
At 2/12/2005 2:48 pm , Blogger Tym said...

Thank you, all. I stand corrected (and suitably edified).

My Hokkien very lousy one. Lucky got Hokkien husband, but even then, cannot even understand Jack Neo's Money No Enough.

Oh, and there are plenty of ACS boys in the family, but you guys are the first ACS bengs I know (partial also can). :)

 
At 2/14/2005 2:32 am , Blogger ivan said...

chau peng hu is 2 tai only what hahahah.. cannot meet your target of 3 leh...
happy lunar new year!

 
At 2/14/2005 7:27 am , Blogger Tym said...

Ivan --- We were playing minimum two tai, and a chau peng hu is worth only one in our game :)

 
At 2/14/2005 1:08 pm , Blogger Abigael said...

Aiyoh ... this Mahjong cursing thing is rampant lor!

My girl has learnt the Teochew "Pu Bor" phrase over the holidays ... just watching her mummy play.

 
At 2/14/2005 2:42 pm , Blogger  said...

er, actually, i always thought the original was "kan ni LAO bu..." as opposed to "kan ni NA bu" - ("lao bu" meaning "mother"), with the "lao" morphing into "na" like the "bu" into "beh" for whatever reasons.

anyway, i like the "pu bor" a lot. reminds me of my grandmother :-)

 
At 2/15/2005 7:58 am , Blogger Tym said...

Abigael --- As long as she doesn't use it against her teacher in school! :)

Wah, with all this technical parsing of KKNB, I'm starting to be reminded of that conversation about how "fuck" can be used as many different parts of speech.

 
At 12/15/2008 9:13 am , Anonymous Myron said...

What does Pu Bor mean? I stumbled upon here trying to find the origins of the word. =.= do enlighten~

 
At 12/15/2008 12:48 pm , Blogger Tym said...

I have consulted with the wise Abigael, and apparently it's along the lines of "f*** your mother".

 

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