Me, watching last night's The O.C.

(The episode otherwise known as, "The Best Chrismukkah Ever".)

1st quarter report: Marissa shoplifts --- the horror.

Halftime report: Marissa cops a 375ml bottle of Absolut and stuffs it into her otherwise empty evening purse. No wonder the parties I go to aren't as fun as O.C. parties --- my purses actually hold practical items like keys, money and lipstick.

3rd quarter report: Summer definitely takes a lead in the Wonder Woman get-up. I mean, Seth's male and a teenager --- looking at linoleum makes him want to have sex. Oh, and Marissa is a drunk.

Final score: Ryan --- a million, for not babysitting Marissa; Seth --- nil, for stringing the girls along only to be a coward about it; the writers --- negative 200, for introducing another guy to the Marissa merry-go-round when we just got rid of Luke. Pah!