What you shouldn't write in your professional bio

I had to write a short professional bio for myself today and Ondine was whining about how she couldn't go running because it was raining, so I distracted her by making her help me.

Some help she turned out to be. We were trying to rephrase the idea that I "take challenges in [my] stride":

Ondine: [Tym] is very good at taking curveballs that are thrown at her?
ME: Ha ha
ME: Yes yes v good
Ondine: Just the hand-eye coordination cannot make it.
ME: Yah
ME: strictly metaphorical
ME: in actual ball games, she sucks
Ondine: And occasionally trips over herself and falls down.
ME: Argh
ME: You are evil

Needless to say, none of this made it into the final version of my bio.

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