The kind of kitchen I keep

--- is one where now that it's the school vacation, there's no actual breakfast food in the house because there's no longer a need for me to nourish myself adequately before I go out in the morning,

where a bottle of Ribena can languish half-used on the kitchen counter for several years until Ondine's conscientiousness prompts a gingerly attempt at opening the cap. *Pop* goes what might have been air from the last millennium. Who knew that blackcurrant syrup could ferment nicely when left on its own?

where Ondine's midnight attack of the munchies that prompted me to scour my cupboards and fridge, turns up the following (in reverse order of age): a half-eaten bag of Ruffles potato chips from Sunday; a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar gifted to me last week; Chinese pears, red apples and oranges I bought two weeks ago; leftover Daily Scoop ice cream from Wahj's birthday in early May; a pear from my mother at some point before that; chocolate truffles leftover from last Xmas; chocolate raisins gifted to me at least one year ago; Japanese candies leftover from our trip in June 2003; and lou por bang (wife's biscuit) from Hong Kong, gifted by my mother, date indeterminate period.

Ondine wisely elected to eat a Chinese pear. I haven't thrown out anything else yet.

And people ask me why I don't have kids.