Setting a bear-d example for all of us

A couple of days ago, Ondine asked in the comments about the "cute little toy" in the background of my red eye picture. Voilà:

The bear next door
Originally uploaded by Tym.

It was a Teacher's Day gift from students to the colleague who sits next to me, which sounds innocuous enough until you hear it snarl, "Scra-amm! Giddouttahere!"

Other choice phrases:
  • "You are UGLY! U-G-L-Y ugg-leeeeeee!"
  • "Quit buggin' me! Do I look like a playful teddy to you?!"
All in the same pseudo-Goodfellas fuhgeddaboutit tone that's funny the first time, a little painful the second time, and downright pain-inducing when it's triggered too often in a row. Yes, triggered --- it's got a built-in sensor on its tummy that triggers the pre-programmed wisecracks. I happened to trigger it a lot the first few days after it was installed, because I always duck really close to that corner of the cubicle when I'm scuttling from my cubicle to the printer or the pantry. But what I hear is that switching off the lights triggers it too, which can make things a little creepy for the last person to go home for the evening who thinks he's alone, only to be crudely squawked at from an empty cubicle.

No one's swatted the little bugger yet, even though sometimes the urge is strong because its tone is just so abrasive. A miracle of modern engineering? I know my mother would disapprove.


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At 9/26/2005 10:56 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Tym, here's an article on Serenity you might want to check out.


Just decided to pop by and let you know :D

At 9/26/2005 11:00 am , Blogger Ondine said...

Heh, I just looked at the comments and realised I got the preposition wrong. Oops. Ok, bear still looks cute, but I think I'd soon enough, rip out its insides to stop it from squawking. I have one of those toys from Shell where you drop it and it goes "boiiiiiingggggg!" loudly. Entertains the kids a whole lot, but makes me want to throw it out the window and see if it goes "boing" 10 floors down.

At 9/27/2005 3:47 am , Blogger Agagooga said...

It's one of those things like Rubber Chickens that are useless but fun to have!

At 9/27/2005 9:30 am , Blogger Tym said...

Mr Moron --- Thanks! I'm so totally psyched for the movie.

And yes, the lesson today is that talking bears are hazardous for your emotional stability because they incite all sorts of violent and irrational impulses.


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