Antsy

Earlier this week, I found myself out with 儒 and BoKo, having a good time --- and SMSing at least five other people anyway.

I'm not usually that rude, but it's been one of those weeks.

I told Darren via SMS that night that I was feeling antsy, to which he responded that he's never heard the word "antsy" used so much until he met me a little over a year ago. (I only said it once to him that night, though.)

I thought I'd gotten used to not having Terz around when he goes away on these short trips. They've been happening for a while --- fieldtrips that he led during his teaching days, as well as the various Mercy Relief missions earlier these year.

This time, though, it's different. I feel adrift, untethered. There's a hollowness within that I try to fill up with, well, whatever. It's not something as banal as loneliness or sadness per se; I'm not curled up in a corner at home, crying my little eyes out or anything. No, no. No melodrama in this house.

It's more of a dullness, verging on a void. Everything seems to have lost its flavour: work, reading, my favourite DVDs, taking random pictures. I just --- float.

Well, before I sound too sorry for myself, I should point out that one thing was very nicely flavoured this week: a surprise Nutella muffin from Toast, courtesy of a kind colleague.


And now I'm off to 'tinis, red meat and maybe a peek at the new Zouk.

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