I have never ...

... EVAR (TM Cowboy Caleb, hand gestures and all) ...

... attended a party by-invitation-only at Velvet, seen Terz with both the male and female ultra-violet club entry stamps on his forearm, drank Heineken out of a SIGG-style bottle, met an English girl who encouraged me to take up the violin from scratch even though I'm well over the age limit for the Suzuki method, seen some girl get a temporary tattoo on her upper buttock in front of everyone else, beheld such a clutter of about twenty Heineken bottles on one table, been blinded by so many camera flashes from pseudo-Lomographers, had a movie moment in a real-life bar, witnessed Cowboy magicking us an empty table and then more chairs in a crowded Wine Bar, been told that one is not allowed to take photos at Wine Bar, had drinks with an ex-student, run into an old neighbour from Normanton Park days in a social setting, played "I have never", been at the same table as someone who's had sex in the office/car/cinema/outdoors/aw hell just about everywhere, gone for a supper of Teochew moi (porridge) after drinks and promptly thrown up that supper within the hour ...

... until Wednesday night.