Blogging it like it is

The National Day Parade organising committee has decided that it would be a swell idea to have bloggers at the parade publish their experience of the parade as they see it. This is, ostensibly, so that all the rest of us poor sods that couldn't or wouldn't get tickets for the national jingofest can enjoy the parade vicariously through their eyes. (They don't mention if this is because last year's live webcast was a big letdown.)

My first question is how the bloggers' viewpoint will differ from the regular voice-over commentary that people watching the live TV broadcast will hear. Those already tell you how many people have packed into the stadium, what marching contingents are on the field, and which local celebrity is wearing what garish costume and orating which 'national' song.

Or maybe, because the bloggers can only publish updates through their cellphones, their entries will be akin to the gibberish that hogged the lower half of TV screens when they had SMSes running like a news tickertape on American Idol. You know, like:

idollover <Whoa, man, this is really cool!>
iluvSingapore <I was so scared e parachute men wld land in the sea!>
cutelisa83 <They didn't show enough Steph Sun! I want more Steph Sun! Steph Sun rox!>
bengking <The girls in the yellow costume damn jude, man!>

(Wow, my eyes hurt from writing that. By the way, there are no spelling errors that weren't intentional.)

Now the blogs I'd like to see, like any good blogs, would offer idiosyncratic, yet entertaining, no-holds-barred views of the ups and downs, ins and outs, naughty and nice aspects of the show. Tell me which contingent had the first guy fainting while they were waiting for the President. Speculate how many fights will break out between impatient parade-goers. Provide a running commentary on what the parade commander's really thinking while he waits to give the next cue.

Better yet, make up your own parade:

" ... And marching by, we now have the 53rd contingent on the field, the Union of Unemployed Workers. They're wearing their T-shirts and caps back to front, those saucy little rebels. ... As part of the national push to get families to have more babies, we will now watch a half-hour montage of cute, cooing baby pictures. Aw, look at the darling in the red and white onesie --- isn't it great that they've soundtracked Clayderman over the images, so we don't have to hear it wailing? ... Please rise for the National Anthem --- yes, even you folks at home. If you don't, the policeman will come and catch you! ... "

I know Singapore's supposed to be one of the most IT-savvy nations around, and we've also got the world's fastest SMSer (read: text-messaging freak), but there's still something left to be desired about how technology is co-opted for the national agenda. We may be wired, but we just ain't cool.

By the way, the parade theme for this year? "A Progressive Society" --- I think the organisers forgot to look up the meaning and connotations of 'progressive' before passing that one. A 'progressive' society is not the same as a society that has 'made progress'. Progressives everywhere would like to have their word back, please.