Reflections, on my way to work

If I ever have to wear maternity clothes, here's what verboten for my wardrobe:

• The slightest smidgen of lace


• Curly bows, the likes of which were last seen adorning a four-year-old's hair


• Any dress modelled after the latest hot birthday party fashions for saccharine-sweet four-year-olds


• Large floral prints


• Checkered prints --- cowboys look good in them, I maintain that the average urban pregnant female does not

I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you.